Rushing into a relationship breeds codependence, which is also known as “relationship addiction” because of how such arrangements are usually one-sided, abusive, and emotionally destructive – much like the original substance abuse problem.
As an additional layer of protection, a person in recovery should also not date other people in recovery.
tells the story of a eight-year-sober 33-year old man who, on the advice of his AA sponsor, “religiously avoided dating” for six months.
The official policy of Alcoholics Anonymous (as laid out in the , a sex coach points out that substance abuse warps how people see themselves, and others around them; by the time they get to recovery, people have no idea of who they are.
A substance abuse problem changes the way a person looks at the world, and treatment does much the same thing.
A lot can change due to drug and alcohol addiction, and successful rehabilitation entails rebuilding a person’s life.
Whether as a client or a companion, a guide to sober dating is very important in understanding how matters of the heart change.After the inevitable relapses, she recommitted herself to her treatment program.Newly sober, she didn’t date anyone for eight months, giving herself time to recognize the red flags that her earlier self was not ready to see.Hence, the rule of thumb that people in recovery not date for the first year of their sobriety.The 33-year-old man who studiously stayed away from dating for the first six months re-entered the relationship scene as a fully committed and engaged member of his treatment program.The person in recovery can vicariously enjoy all the good and bad that comes with that territory, without a single drink having to be consumed.